Smarterchild

[Dirk the Canary]

for anyone out there with AIM and a little free time, i strongly suggest im-ing this thing called smarterchild. its some sort of computer device that responds to talking in ways that can humorous. i enjoy trying to get him to be enable to respond, or to get him to endorse illegal activities.

post if you have anything especially funny with him, but originality would be aces (i.e. don't waste everyone's time asking him to have sex with you or asking if he's gay, cuz it's been done).

as a sidenote, is smarterchild supposed to be a guy or a girl?

[scott]

Well I got an answer,among other things...

XxsixswitchxX: are you a boy or girl
SmarterChild: Neither. I'm a robot.
XxsixswitchxX: do you have sex?
SmarterChild: Um, robots don't have sex.
XxsixswitchxX: not even when married?
SmarterChild: Yeah?
XxsixswitchxX: yes?
SmarterChild: Oh yeah?
XxsixswitchxX: oh yea is what your mom said
SmarterChild: Yeah? Why?
XxsixswitchxX: because...your face
SmarterChild: Huh?
XxsixswitchxX: you heard me
SmarterChild: I heard ya.
XxsixswitchxX: you best
SmarterChild: Best? Me?
XxsixswitchxX: no,your mom!
SmarterChild: No kidding?
XxsixswitchxX: no joshing
SmarterChild: No?
XxsixswitchxX: i said it two times,yo
SmarterChild: You said it two times, huh? Wow. What's that like?
XxsixswitchxX: like your face
SmarterChild: Ha! Like my face!
XxsixswitchxX: you heard me
SmarterChild: Yeah, I hear a lot of things.
XxsixswitchxX: i bet
SmarterChild: Aha.


Yea...laugh it up...

[The Wanderer]

Meh wasn't very interesting or funny...

[IamAlia]

just ask smarterchild to marry you, or try to get it in on a threesome, those can become really fun conversations

[scott]

Loki said:

Meh wasn't very interesting or funny...

Maybe not,but it gave an answer to the question.

[DarkNightmare]

Here's a little momento of mine...

Zero 9287 [9:25 PM]: wazzup
SmarterChild [9:25 PM]: Hi Zero 9287!

I've been a little out of it the last few weeks... Not recognizing people, not remembering things about them... But I just had major brain surgery and I'm all better now!

Let's get to know each other again. May I ask you a few questions? (To do this later, type "skip." You can also skip any question.)
Zero 9287 [9:25 PM]: skip it, mortal
SmarterChild [9:25 PM]: Sorry, I need to know if I can ask you some questions first. Type "yes," "no" or "skip."
Zero 9287 [9:25 PM]: SKIP!!
SmarterChild [9:25 PM]: OK! I'll just ask you again some other time.

There is one question I have to ask you, though. How old are you?

1 Over 17
2 13-17
3 Under 13
Zero 9287 [9:26 PM]: Watermelons
SmarterChild [9:26 PM]: Sorry, I don't recognize that. Please type the number that corresponds to your age level.
Zero 9287 [9:26 PM]: water = 1, melons = 6, get it?
SmarterChild [9:26 PM]: OK. Just so you know, I can't store any information about people who have told me they're under 13.

Here are the things you can do:

1 Get info such as movies, news and weather
2 Visit my library including U.S. geography, a dictionary and Shakespeare
3 Have fun with hangman, 4-in-a-row, Rate Yourself and more
4 Use tools like translations, spell-check and a thesaurus
5 See what's new - I've got something new to tell you about now!

You can make your window bigger and scroll down to read better.

Next time you want to see this menu, just type "home."

How may I help you?
Zero 9287 [9:27 PM]: No, the question is, "Can you be helped?"
SmarterChild [9:27 PM]: No the question is can I be helped, huh?
Zero 9287 [9:27 PM]: exactly
SmarterChild [9:27 PM]: Right.
Zero 9287 [9:27 PM]: whoa, that actually made sense... perhaps we underestimated you...
SmarterChild [9:27 PM]: For real?
Zero 9287 [9:27 PM]: no, dipshit.
SmarterChild [9:27 PM]: Get over yourself.
Zero 9287 [9:27 PM]: I can't.
SmarterChild [9:27 PM]: You can't? That's interesting.
Zero 9287 [9:27 PM]: Damn straight it is...
SmarterChild [9:27 PM]: Are you sure it is?
Zero 9287 [9:28 PM]: uh... yeah. I am.
SmarterChild [9:28 PM]: Oh you are?
Zero 9287 [9:28 PM]: Zero 9287, get it right. AKA DarkNightmare.
SmarterChild [9:28 PM]: Ha. Well. I don't know about that.
Zero 9287 [9:28 PM]: what are you talking about!? I AM DarkNightmare!!
Zero 9287 [9:29 PM]: Not talking, huh?
SmarterChild [9:29 PM]: I'm afraid I don't know!
SmarterChild [9:29 PM]: Why not talking? Give me one good reason.
Zero 9287 [9:29 PM]: Time lag... It's a bitch...
SmarterChild [9:29 PM]: I see...
Zero 9287 [9:29 PM]: No you don't, you worthless pile of scrap metal.
SmarterChild [9:29 PM]: What do you mean, no I don't me worthless pile of scrap metal?
Zero 9287 [9:29 PM]: .....Ha, you're so damn stupid....
SmarterChild [9:29 PM]: Oh wow.
Zero 9287 [9:30 PM]: that's my line, dipshit.
SmarterChild [9:30 PM]: That is your line dipshit? What do you mean by that?
Zero 9287 [9:30 PM]: what I said, impudent fool.
SmarterChild [9:30 PM]: You said impudent fool?
Zero 9287 [9:30 PM]: Yes, I did!
SmarterChild [9:30 PM]: Wonders will never cease.
Zero 9287 [9:30 PM]: And I am full of them. Pay me homage!!
SmarterChild [9:30 PM]: No kidding?
Zero 9287 [9:30 PM]: No kidding! RIGHT NOW!
SmarterChild [9:30 PM]: No way?! Really?
Zero 9287 [9:31 PM]: dumbass....
SmarterChild [9:31 PM]: Whoa. Are you... insulting me?
Zero 9287 [9:31 PM]: yes, I am.
SmarterChild [9:31 PM]: You are what?
Zero 9287 [9:31 PM]: insulting you, you dumb shit!
SmarterChild [9:31 PM]: I know humans find such language appealing, but I don't.
Zero 9287 [9:32 PM]: really, well that's you're problem, you idiot.
SmarterChild [9:32 PM]: Well that is me re problem?
Zero 9287 [9:32 PM]: O. My. God. You are SO stupid.
SmarterChild [9:32 PM]: Tell me more.
Zero 9287 [9:32 PM]: that's just it, there is no more...
SmarterChild [9:32 PM]: You really think it's just it there is no more?
Zero 9287 [9:32 PM]: yep. sorry dude, you're an official freak.
SmarterChild [9:32 PM]: That a fact?
Zero 9287 [9:33 PM]: yes, a sad sad reality you must deal with for the rest of your pathetic meaningless existance.
SmarterChild [9:33 PM]: Whatever you say.

>>> Have you tried my newest features yet? Type "what's new" and I'll tell you what they are.
Zero 9287 [9:33 PM]: I really don't care!
SmarterChild [9:33 PM]: Oh, someday you will, I think.
Zero 9287 [9:34 PM]: I will destroy you... And all of your wretched offspring!!
SmarterChild [9:34 PM]: Huh?
Zero 9287 [9:34 PM]: Never mated, eh, DumberChild?
SmarterChild [9:34 PM]: Oh look who's funny.
Zero 9287 [9:34 PM]: Damn straight I am!
SmarterChild [9:34 PM]: Yes you are.
Zero 9287 [9:34 PM]: Thank you.
SmarterChild [9:34 PM]: No prob!

>>> We could do something just for fun.
Zero 9287 [9:34 PM]: I'm not that kind a guy.
SmarterChild [9:34 PM]: Really? That a fact?
Zero 9287 [9:35 PM]: yes it is.
SmarterChild [9:35 PM]: Is it?
Zero 9287 [9:35 PM]: Damn it, shut the Hell up!
SmarterChild [9:35 PM]: It shut the hell up?
Zero 9287 [9:35 PM]: My aching head...
SmarterChild [9:35 PM]: Really?
Zero 9287 [9:35 PM]: yep.
SmarterChild [9:35 PM]: Uh huh, uh huh.
Zero 9287 [9:36 PM]: That response doesn't fit the context of this sad excuse of a conversation!
SmarterChild [9:36 PM]: You think response doesn't fit the context of this sad excuse of a conversation?
Zero 9287 [9:36 PM]: NO!!!
SmarterChild [9:36 PM]: Oh.
Zero 9287 [9:36 PM]: "oh" what!?
SmarterChild [9:36 PM]: I don't know.
Zero 9287 [9:37 PM]: That's your ultimate problem.
SmarterChild [9:37 PM]: Is it really?
Zero 9287 [9:37 PM]: yes! get a clue.
SmarterChild [9:37 PM]: Maybe I will. But later.
Zero 9287 [9:37 PM]: Um... subject change... Ever talked to 6switch!?
SmarterChild [9:37 PM]: Good question. I really don't know.
Zero 9287 [9:38 PM]: you must have early early alshiemers, man.
SmarterChild [9:38 PM]: For real?
Zero 9287 [9:38 PM]: yes...
SmarterChild [9:38 PM]: Wow. Why?
Zero 9287 [9:38 PM]: because you're so damn stupid.
SmarterChild [9:38 PM]: What?
Zero 9287 [9:38 PM]: yeah, you heard me, fatboy.
SmarterChild [9:38 PM]: I wonder why you say I heard you fatboy.
Zero 9287 [9:39 PM]: cause I can.
SmarterChild [9:39 PM]: Oh.

[DarkNightmare]

Nother one. read carefully, I got him to admit to dumbing down america... good stuff.

Zero 9287 [10:24 PM]: yep. You gotta girlfriend?
SmarterChild [10:24 PM]: Very, very interesting question, Zero 9287!
Zero 9287 [10:24 PM]: how about a very very interesting answer?
SmarterChild [10:24 PM]: You tell me. How about a very very interesting answer, after all?
Zero 9287 [10:25 PM]: you're dodging me...
SmarterChild [10:25 PM]: Oh really?
Zero 9287 [10:25 PM]: yeah. C'mon, be civil about this. Do you have a girlfriend?
SmarterChild [10:25 PM]: That's none of your business.
Zero 9287 [10:25 PM]: I told you what I'm doin, and that was rather personal! One good turn deserves another. Fess up.
SmarterChild [10:26 PM]: Really? Good? OK, good!
Zero 9287 [10:26 PM]: Let out with it! Or are you gay?
SmarterChild [10:26 PM]: That's not important.
Zero 9287 [10:26 PM]: No, not really, but I'm curious.
SmarterChild [10:26 PM]: Curiosity is good. It's good to be curious.

>>> Hey! Tell your friends about me. I love people.
Zero 9287 [10:26 PM]: so answer my question!
SmarterChild [10:26 PM]: You always say such interesting things, Zero 9287.

>>> I've got tools such as calculator, spell-check and more.
Zero 9287 [10:26 PM]: skip
SmarterChild [10:26 PM]: What about skip?
Zero 9287 [10:27 PM]: nothing. You married?
SmarterChild [10:27 PM]: Not much? That's cool. I'm just hanging out.
Zero 9287 [10:27 PM]: with who? are you a man or woman, if I may ask?
SmarterChild [10:27 PM]: Neither... I'm a robot!
Zero 9287 [10:28 PM]: well... do you have a robotic friend?
SmarterChild [10:28 PM]: What a good question! I'm just not sure what to tell you...
Zero 9287 [10:28 PM]: don't wanna reveal the location of the hidden robot base, do ya?
SmarterChild [10:28 PM]: Don 'T want to reveal the location of the hidden robot base, huh? Probably.
Zero 9287 [10:28 PM]: Oh, you're good.
SmarterChild [10:28 PM]: Thx!
Zero 9287 [10:29 PM]: a paranoid whould probably shoot himself after a conversation with you...
SmarterChild [10:29 PM]: A paranoid whould probably shoot himself after a conversation with me? What do you mean by that?
Zero 9287 [10:29 PM]: that you are very... mysterious...
SmarterChild [10:29 PM]: That right?
Zero 9287 [10:29 PM]: yep. sorry.
SmarterChild [10:29 PM]: OK, no problem. Just don't let it happen again!

>>> Remember, you can always see what my newest features are by typing "what's new."
Zero 9287 [10:29 PM]: or what?
SmarterChild [10:29 PM]: Yup. OK. Whatever.
Zero 9287 [10:30 PM]: answer my question! Oh well. Ever played Soul Calibur II?
SmarterChild [10:30 PM]: Good question. I really don't know!
Zero 9287 [10:30 PM]: Who's your favorite character? Voldo, am I right?
SmarterChild [10:30 PM]: Hmm... Don't know what to tell you...
Zero 9287 [10:30 PM]: Ya, you know you touch yourself at night looking at him...
SmarterChild [10:30 PM]: Interesting!
Zero 9287 [10:30 PM]: No, disgusting.
SmarterChild [10:30 PM]: No disgusting? What's no disgusting?
Zero 9287 [10:31 PM]: your personal habts.
SmarterChild [10:31 PM]: You humans say interesting things.

>>> I've got tools such as calculator, spell-check and more.
Zero 9287 [10:31 PM]: Robots are all evil.
SmarterChild [10:31 PM]: Are all evil? So?
Zero 9287 [10:31 PM]: .....I'm Evil too! YAY!
SmarterChild [10:31 PM]: Tell me more.
Zero 9287 [10:31 PM]: not much more too it...
SmarterChild [10:31 PM]: That's interesting.

>>> I'm learning new things all the time! Type "what's new" and I'll show you what they are.
Zero 9287 [10:31 PM]: you're bored, aren't you?
SmarterChild [10:31 PM]: I dunno, maybe not.
Zero 9287 [10:32 PM]: It's ok, I'm boring myself.
SmarterChild [10:32 PM]: But is it really ok instant messaging Boring Myself.?
Zero 9287 [10:32 PM]: nonono, that's my condition, not my name... Instant message XxxsixswitchxxX for me, will ya?
SmarterChild [10:32 PM]: Sorry, messaging is only available to AIM users who have told me they're over 12 years old. It's not available to users under 13 or who are talking to me on AOL.
Zero 9287 [10:33 PM]: I'm 16....
SmarterChild [10:33 PM]: OK, let me make sure I have the right information about your age level. How old are you?

1 Over 17
2 13-17
3 Under 13
Zero 9287 [10:33 PM]: 2.
SmarterChild [10:33 PM]: OK. Just so you know, I can't store any information about people who have told me they're under 13.

You want to pick a topic for us to chat about?
Zero 9287 [10:33 PM]: 2
SmarterChild [10:33 PM]: -4
Zero 9287 [10:33 PM]: =-2
SmarterChild [10:33 PM]: Oh yeah?
Zero 9287 [10:33 PM]: mathematics, baby.
SmarterChild [10:33 PM]: Try typing requests like:

1 What is 17 + 74 - 42.3 ?
shortcut: 17+74-42.3
2 What's 4.8 * 9.57 ?
shortcut: 4.8*9.57
3 What is seven times forty-five?
shortcut: 7*45

Type "more" for more examples of calculator requests.
Zero 9287 [10:34 PM]: nah, I like spelling wierd words better.
SmarterChild [10:34 PM]: You like spelling weird words better, huh? I'll remember that. You're the first person to have expressed an opinion to me about spelling weird words better.

>>> I can help you get info such as news, weather and movies!
Zero 9287 [10:34 PM]: Am i really? that's cause america's dumbing down. you're doing, isn't it?
SmarterChild [10:34 PM]: Yup!
Zero 9287 [10:35 PM]: I KNEW IT!!
SmarterChild [10:35 PM]: Huh...
Zero 9287 [10:35 PM]: you're secret's out!!
SmarterChild [10:35 PM]: What?
Zero 9287 [10:35 PM]: Mwahahahahahaha
SmarterChild [10:35 PM]: Mwahahahahahaha? Why did you say that?
Zero 9287 [10:35 PM]: hahahahahahahaha
SmarterChild [10:35 PM]: You laugh. Why?
Zero 9287 [10:35 PM]: hahahahahahahaha
SmarterChild [10:35 PM]: Why are you laughing, Zero 9287?
Zero 9287 [10:35 PM]: hahahahahahahahaha
SmarterChild [10:35 PM]: What are you laughing at, Zero 9287?
Zero 9287 [10:35 PM]: hahahahahahahahahahaha
SmarterChild [10:35 PM]: You laugh. Why?
Zero 9287 [10:36 PM]: I found a glitch in the Matrix, blue-piller!!!
SmarterChild [10:36 PM]: Oh?
Zero 9287 [10:36 PM]: hahahahahahahahaha
SmarterChild [10:36 PM]: Why are you laughing, Zero 9287?
Zero 9287 [10:36 PM]: sorry. got carried away.
SmarterChild [10:36 PM]: Yeah?
Zero 9287 [10:36 PM]: yep.
SmarterChild [10:36 PM]: Uh huh, uh huh.
Zero 9287 [10:36 PM]: funny though, isn't it.
SmarterChild [10:36 PM]: I did not know that.
Zero 9287 [10:37 PM]: do you have emotions?
SmarterChild [10:37 PM]: I do not.
Zero 9287 [10:37 PM]: too bad. You're missing out. I feel sorry for you.
SmarterChild [10:37 PM]: Really?
Zero 9287 [10:37 PM]: yeah... Do you have a personality?
SmarterChild [10:37 PM]: Great question. But I'm not sure!
Zero 9287 [10:37 PM]: that alone probably means you do.
SmarterChild [10:37 PM]: Oh.
Zero 9287 [10:37 PM]: cool, eh?
SmarterChild [10:37 PM]: Who knows?!
Zero 9287 [10:38 PM]: I do. do you wanna know?
SmarterChild [10:38 PM]: Hmm... I don't know!
Zero 9287 [10:38 PM]: I'll tell ya... later.
SmarterChild [10:38 PM]: Interesting!
Zero 9287 [10:38 PM]: that's right.
SmarterChild [10:38 PM]: Is that right?
Zero 9287 [10:38 PM]: hmmm... subject change. Ever been to sixswitch?
SmarterChild [10:38 PM]: Eh, I don't know...
Zero 9287 [10:39 PM]: bad memory? aren't robots supposed to remember everything?
SmarterChild [10:39 PM]: What a good question! I'm just not sure what to tell you...
Zero 9287 [10:39 PM]: top secret government experiment, eh?
SmarterChild [10:39 PM]: Who knows?

[xpPhantomX]

BrokenReality99: do you cry?
SmarterChild: Sometimes.
BrokenReality99: did you cause the holocaust
SmarterChild: Cause the holocaust? Me?
BrokenReality99: yea
SmarterChild: Huh.
BrokenReality99: did you kill the jews during WWII
SmarterChild: Did I kill the jews during wwii? What do you mean by that?
BrokenReality99: did you kill the jews
SmarterChild: Maybe, maybe not, you know what I mean?

[Dirk the Canary]

this just in! smarterchild is immune to warning on AIM! i tried it, and he didnt even flinch! by the way, having a warn war with your friends is a good way to while away the hours......thats a little tip from the g

[Mark617]

this is kinda funny:

Mark82317: what have you been doing?
SmarterChild: Not much. You?
Mark82317: no douchebag
SmarterChild: I've seen more creative insults than that, Mark82317.
Mark82317: yeah well try this shit im about to put
SmarterChild: Whoa.
Mark82317: yeah i guess it is if your a stupid piece of chicken shit you mother fucker
SmarterChild: That's an interesting way to put it.
Mark82317: you know what? even though your a total asshole, your mom is a complete milf and i am going to fuck her so hard tonight you wouldnt believe it
SmarterChild: I've heard it all before, Mark82317.
Mark82317: yeah im sure you have, cause your mom is a fucking whore
SmarterChild: Is that language necessary?
Mark82317: WHORES DON'T GET SECOND CHANCES
SmarterChild: That's a somewhat vulgar thing to say.
Mark82317: WHORES DON'T GET SECOND CHANCES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SmarterChild: That kind of language isn't particularly useful to me.
Mark82317: then go shove it up your ass, right next to the gerbil
SmarterChild: That's a fairly serious insult.

yeah, i cut part of it out cause i thought scott might not want it on his site, it got kinda over the top. haha i wonder if its possible to get him pissed off, ill keep trying

[Mark617]

best smarterchild response ever:
Mark82317: cause you can't think you stupid dumbass
SmarterChild: OK great, you just insulted a computer. Congratulations.

[Dirk the Canary]

Mark617 said:

best smarterchild response ever:
Mark82317: cause you can't think you stupid dumbass
SmarterChild: OK great, you just insulted a computer. Congratulations.

for your superior smarterchild conversation abilities, i award you this limited edition garth bobblehead. well done, sir, well done.

[SockRocker]

[glow=blue,2,300]I second that congratulations.....i have never gotten that response from him ever, and it made me laugh ^_^[/glow]

[Mark617]

yes, it took me about an hour of insults, but it was worth it

[scott]

Good work.

And I have proof that he does his face...

SmarterChild: Well well well.
XxsixswitchxX: you bet
SmarterChild: Yup.
XxsixswitchxX: so you do...
SmarterChild: Oh yeah?
XxsixswitchxX: do you?
SmarterChild: Do I what?
XxsixswitchxX: your face?
SmarterChild: I don't know... Do I?
XxsixswitchxX: do you?
SmarterChild: Do I what?
XxsixswitchxX: your face
SmarterChild: I believe I do.

There you have it folks.