Post by Wilshire on Oct 22, 2003 22:26:31 GMT -5
ACADEMY: A modern school where football is taught.
BORE: A person who talks when you you wish him to listen.
BRIDE: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
COMMERCE: A kind of transaction in which A plunders from B the goods of C, and for compensation B picks the pocket of D of money belonging to E.
CONSERVATIVE: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the liberal, who wishes to replace them with others.
CYNIC: A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
EGOTIST: A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.
FEMALE: One of the opposing, or unfair, sex.
HISTORY: An account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools.
IMMIGRANT: An unenlightened person who thinks one country better than another.
LABOR: One of the processes by which A acquired property for B.
LAWYER: One skilled in circumventing the law.
LOVE: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
MONDAY: In Christian countries, the day after the baseball game.
NOVEL: A short story padded.
PATRIOTISM: Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
PEACE: An international affair, a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.
PRESIDENCY: The greased pig in the field game of American politics.
REALSIM: The art of depicting nature as it is seen by toads.
RELIGION: A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
REVOLUTION: In politics, an abrubt change in the form of misgovernment.
ROMANCE: Fiction that owes no allegiance to the God of Things as they are.
SELFISH: Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
SUCCESS: The one unpardonable sin against one's fellows.
This is some funny stuff
. No offense is meant to anyone. This is actually from THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY (1911), by Ambrose Bierce, a famous short story author. My favorites are: commerce, egotist, history, and peace.
BORE: A person who talks when you you wish him to listen.
BRIDE: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
COMMERCE: A kind of transaction in which A plunders from B the goods of C, and for compensation B picks the pocket of D of money belonging to E.
CONSERVATIVE: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the liberal, who wishes to replace them with others.
CYNIC: A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
EGOTIST: A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.
FEMALE: One of the opposing, or unfair, sex.
HISTORY: An account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools.
IMMIGRANT: An unenlightened person who thinks one country better than another.
LABOR: One of the processes by which A acquired property for B.
LAWYER: One skilled in circumventing the law.
LOVE: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
MONDAY: In Christian countries, the day after the baseball game.
NOVEL: A short story padded.
PATRIOTISM: Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
PEACE: An international affair, a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.
PRESIDENCY: The greased pig in the field game of American politics.
REALSIM: The art of depicting nature as it is seen by toads.
RELIGION: A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
REVOLUTION: In politics, an abrubt change in the form of misgovernment.
ROMANCE: Fiction that owes no allegiance to the God of Things as they are.
SELFISH: Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
SUCCESS: The one unpardonable sin against one's fellows.
This is some funny stuff
. No offense is meant to anyone. This is actually from THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY (1911), by Ambrose Bierce, a famous short story author. My favorites are: commerce, egotist, history, and peace.
