Crap jokes

[leprechauneddie]

That crazy Castelli... pot pot and more pot...

[leprechauneddie]

Here goes the Chaun's joke:

Once upon a time there was an aged, aged Indian Chief. The Chief was very aged and felt that the time was coming for him to give up the ghost, and since he had no sons of his own, he decided to have a contest to choose his successor.

The chief called the four tribes together and had a great competition: archery, wrestling, la crosse, cooking, chinese checkers, the works. Finally, the hundreds of strong braves were narrowed down to two of the best men the Chief had ever seen: Running Deer and Falling Rock.

Running Deer had this amazing ability to run like a deer. He could be seen in the early morning mist, dashing through the fields of wildflowers with his trusty dog, Moke. At the end of every day, Running Deer would return with the biggest stags you ever did see.

Sure, Running Deer was a great hunter and a star athlete, but Falling Rock was hands down the best Goddamn Indian in the entire East Woods. This guy was faster than a speeding arrow, more powerful than a waterfall, able to leap tall Sycamores with a hop, skip, and a jump, and...well... he had a better dog than Running Deer.

Anyway, the Chief gets all the people out at the fire pit one early Midsummer Morning and starts the competition. He works his way up onto the old treestump in the center and addresses the crowd. "Here ye here ye! Running Deer and Falling Rock, I, your chief, commend you both on such strength and skill and wish you luck in your first of three challenges. You must go away from the village and catch a fish. He with the biggest fish, shall win the first challenge." With that, the chief's beautiful daughter, Pochajuweya dropped her kerchief and the two contestants tore off out of the palisade wall and into the thicket.

After a day had passed, Running Deer returned from his hunt with a huge Rainbow Trout. That night they roasted that baby over the open fire and there was much rejoicing (yay!!!!). When the second morning came, Falling Rock returned with a gigantic Tiger Muskie from the large lake to the north. The Chief was overjoyed at seeing this. Running Deer's trout wasn't even half as big as this thing, and the Chief really wanted Falling Rock to win.

The second contest was for the largest deer. Thinking that he had this one in the bag, Running Deer waited a while after Falling Rock headed off into the forest and had a long discussion with the Chief's other daughter, Sacajahontas. After saying goodbye, Running Deer headed out into the forest, whistling a merry tune as he went.

Two days passed before Running Deer returned to the village. In those two days he had killed the biggest buck any of the Indians had ever seen. The thing was ginormous. There was enough on that deer to last an average family of starving Haitians for a year. The Chief was very happy and thought that perhaps he had been wrong about Running Deer after all. Another week passed before the return of Falling Rock, and it was a good thing he did return then too, because the villagers were growing anxious and the Chief was becoming ill rapidly. But oh Sweet Jesus did Falling Rock get a huge deer. This thing was the grandpappy of all horned forest creatures, way the Hell bigger than anything Running Deer had ever brought in. The party that night lasted well into the next day and the Chief was very happy, if very ill, and was certain that Falling Rock would be his heir.

It was now time for the final challenge. Running Deer and Falling Rock were put out on a quest to slay the largest Grizzly Bear in the forest. Both braves set out in the early morning and stayed away for a long while. A month passed by and the Chief was dying. He had taken to staying in his Wiggwam all day, smoking his pipe and whistling sad songs. Finally, Running Deer was spotted up the path a ways hauling a great furry lump with the help of six other men. He had caught the biggest, ugliest Grizzly that anyone had ever seen. The partying lasted a good week in which Running Deer proposed to Sacajahontas and made a giant cloak out of the dead bear's hide. The Chief was happy for his daughter but at the same time very sad that Falling Rock had not returned. Knowing that his favorite Brave was usually late but still delivered good results, the Chief vowed to wait as long as it took for Falling Rock to return to the village.

The Chief held out against his illness for another two whole months before finally passing on. With Falling Rock presumed dead or horribly lost, Running Deer was proclaimed the new chief of the tribe. The chief had wanted Falling Rock to be his heir, but his hopes were star-crossed it seemed. However, Running Deer had always respected Falling Rock, and because he had been such a heroic Indian, Running Deer had his people put signs up all over the desert saying:


"WATCH FOR FALLING ROCK"
;D

[Liek]

Yeah, I definetly didn't read that. Sorry Chauny.

[IamAlia]

UnknownGhost said:

whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies?

the live one at the bottom that eats it way out.

(haha there is one of castelli's jokes)

What's worse than that?

going back for seconds